Look for apps that include a time and date stamp as these are considered reliable pieces of evidence in court and lend credibility to your argument. A court will ask about adequate living accommodations during all hearings about child custody. Even if you live in a small space, you should make a special place in your home for your child. The judge will want to ensure:. Be sure you have addressed all of these issues to the best of your ability before appearing in court.
The way you treat your child's other parent may be a factor in determining child custody. Because of this, judges are more likely to side with the parent who is not engaging in this behavior. Even if your former partner is extremely challenging to co-parent with , do everything you can to be respectful.
This includes speaking appropriately about them to your children. Custody cases, and the transition that starts after them, are difficult for everyone—especially kids. While parents often spend a lot of time thinking about what they want or what they think is best for their children, kids' opinions are too often left out of the calculus.
The judge will want to know what the kids want and will likely ask them directly at some point in the process. By asking your child what they think and desire, you can better inform your decision making. While you may not be able to accommodate their every wish, it's important that your kids have a say in where they live and with whom. Allow them to share their thoughts and opinions without trying to convince them or sway them one way or another—and really listen.
Then, use this information to draft a custody request that clearly indicates you listened to them and care about their thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind, too, that most judges are not inclined to alter existing custody arrangements if things appear to be working well.
If you are going to pursue full custody, you need to be able to present some compelling evidence as to why this new arrangement is in the best interest of your children. Get expert tips to help your kids stay healthy and happy. United States Census Bureau. Custodial mothers and fathers and their child support. Your Privacy Rights. To change or withdraw your consent choices for VerywellFamily.
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We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. Be Realistic and Honest It's essential that you are honest with yourself about what you can manage on your own practically, financially, and otherwise.
Make a Plan A judge will expect you to be prepared for custody if it is awarded. Talk to Other Parents Speak to others who have been through the child custody process. Be Involved in Your Child's Life In addition to making sure you can take care of a child's basic and practical needs, the court will look for evidence of a meaningful relationship.
For example: Do staff members at your child's school know you? Have you met with them about academic progress? If it is joint, then both parents must agree on any major decisions involving the child.
If a parent has sole legal custody, they can make these decisions without the input of the other parent. Physical custody means having the child physically reside with you. This can also be joint or sole. It is usually too complicated to have a child split even time evenly, so they end up staying with one parent a bit more than the other. If one parent has sole custody, also called primary custody, the child will primarily live with that parent.
Usually, the other parent will be granted some form of visitation. In California, a judge is not allowed to take into account the gender of the parent when making custody decisions.
Therefore, it is possible for a father to get full custody of a child. All court decisions regarding child custody are made using the best interest of the child standard. Second, the child will benefit from having contact with both parents. This means that whenever possible, a court will try to have the child remain in contact with both parents though the custody agreement.
At the beginning of each case, both parents will begin on equal ground. It will be up to the father to show that getting full custody is what is in the best interest of the child. In court, several factors will be examined. Relocation does not mean there is a new status quo in parenting time. The father must be vigilant in making sure he does not allow the lack of contact to continue for months. He should hire a family law attorney immediately to file the appropriate petition, request for order and obtain a court date.
Smart family law attorneys also help the father document the mother's misconduct. That way, by the time they appear in court, there is a clear paper trail of that misconduct. Documenting it may have an even greater benefit. The mother may get smart and allow contact immediately for fear of how she may look in court. A father can use a mother's refusal to allow contact to show the court how she is not child focused and instead acts inconsistent with the child's best interest.
When a father wants full custody of his child because the mother withholds contact, what should he do? He should point out why that withholding is not in the child's best interest.
Here again the California Family Code helps. Custody should be granted in the following order of preference according to the best interest of the child as provided in Sections and To both parents jointly pursuant to Chapter 4 commencing with Section or to either parent. In making an order granting custody to either parent, the court shall consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to allow the child frequent and continuing contact with the noncustodial parent, consistent with Sections and , and shall not prefer a parent as custodian because of that parent's sex.
The court, in its discretion, may require the parents to submit to the court a plan for the implementation of the custody order…. The code includes frustration of parenting time as a factor when the court decides how to divide parenting time.
A lot of fathers in California do not realize that and therefore do not use it effectively in their own case. Parental alienation is a stalker. It slowly and sometimes decisively destroys a father-child relationship. Usually, a parent who engages in that conduct has one goal - to harm the relationship between the parent and the child. They seek to do damage to the point where the child no longer wants to spend time with the other parent. You may set yourself up for a point of no return with the children.
They may refuse to spend time with you because the mother effectively alienated them from you. In such a situation, it is a complete crap-shoot whether reunification therapy will work. By enforcement we mean going to court and seeking a modification proceeding or even a family law contempt action if the mother violated the court order. Sometimes a minor's counsel or a court-appointed child custody evaluator flushes out parental alienation.
But those are not a substitute for your vigilance. To learn more about child custody evaluations sometimes called evaluations in family law cases, check out our guide linked below. We have seen mothers who alienate the children but from the outside looking in, a person would never know that is happening. A lot of these mothers are actually good caretakers but it is their anger, bitterness or just evil motivations that drive them to do the things they do.
So what happens in the scenario? Where a mother is not withholding contact, is not limiting contact, is not engaging in parental alienation but is simply unfit to be the primary parent? California family law does not allow family law judges to discriminate in custody cases on the basis of gender. If a father is clearly the better parent and it is in the child's best interest for the father to have full custody of his child, that is exactly what the family law court should order.
Drugs include prescription medication. If the mother has a substance abuse problem, whether the substance is alcohol, illegal drugs or prescription medication, that mother may be unfit to be the primary custodial parent.
Do not mistake this for a mother who had a substance abuse problem in the past but has since recovered. We've noticed family courts are forgiving of a parent that used to suffer from substance abuse but took the necessary steps to stop the abuse.
This is especially true when the mother engaged in domestic violence against the father and the court made a finding of domestic violence against the mother.
This court may be the family Court within the context of a restraining order or criminal court within the context of the mother's arrest, prosecution and conviction for domestic violence. It is beyond the scope of this article to explain how domestic violence and child custody affect each other. We highly encourage you to read the article we wrote on the impact of domestic violence and child custody, linked below. For a father to get full custody of his child does not require the mother to engage in willful misconduct.
If the mother is unable to take care of the child's day-to-day needs but the father can, it is appropriate for the father to get full custody.
Failure to care for the child's day-to-day needs includes failure to properly perform the following:. The question we ask is, "how is the mother caring for the child? If the answer is no and the father is able to provide for such needs, then full custody may just be the answer.
Family courts make child custody decisions on both a temporary basis and at the end of the case by a judgment. For temporary orders, fathers file a request for order and obtain a hearing date. A request for order triggers a court date set by the court clerk and a mediation date that precedes the court date. We will not go into detail in this article about the mediation process and the actual request for hearing. Fathers should not be crazy enough to represent themselves at these hearings.
Experienced representation in our opinion is a must. It can increase your chances of success. Temporary orders come before the judgment.
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