Many things — such as the age of the kids involved, the severity of the situation, and the specific type of bullying behaviors — will help determine the best course of action.
Take it seriously if you hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child told or if threats of physical harm are involved. Sometimes it's useful to approach the bully's parents. But in most cases, teachers or counselors are the best ones to contact first. If you've tried those methods and still want to speak to the bullying child's parents, it's best to do so where a school official, such as a counselor, can mediate.
Most schools have bullying policies and anti-bullying programs. Also, many states have bullying laws and policies. Find out about the laws in your community. In some cases, if you have serious concerns about your child's safety, you may need to contact legal authorities. Parents can help kids learn how to deal with bullying if it happens.
For some parents, it may be tempting to tell a kid to fight back. After all, you're angry that your child is suffering and maybe you were told to "stand up for yourself" when you were young. Or you may worry that your child will continue to be bullied, and think that fighting back is the only way to put a bully in their place.
But it's important to advise kids not to respond to bullying by fighting or bullying back. It can quickly escalate into violence, trouble, and someone getting injured. Instead, it's best to walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and tell an adult.
Dealing with bullying can hurt a child's confidence. To help rebuild it, encourage your kids to spend time with friends who have a positive influence.
Participation in clubs, sports, or other enjoyable activities builds strength and friendships. Provide a listening ear about tough situations, but encourage your kids to also tell you about the good parts of their day, and listen attentively.
Make sure they know you believe in them and that you'll do what you can to address any bullying. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size. When Is it Bullying? Why Do Kids Bully? What Are the Signs of Bullying? But there are some warning signs. Parents might notice kids: acting differently or seeming anxious not eating, not sleeping well, or not doing the things they usually enjoy seem moodier or more easily upset than usual avoiding certain situations like taking the bus to school If you suspect bullying but your child is reluctant to open up, find ways to bring up the issue.
What Can Parents Do? Advice for Kids Parents can help kids learn how to deal with bullying if it happens. Here are some other ways kids can improve the situation and feel better: Avoid the bully and use the buddy system. For instance, recently Medical News Today reported on a study that found children who are bullied between the ages of 8 and 10 are more likely to experience sleepwalking, night terrors or nightmares at the age of But other research shows that the long-term health effects of bullying on the victim are potentially much more far-reaching and serious.
The study examined data from the British National Child Development Study, which includes information from all children born in England, Scotland and Wales during 1 week in The researchers found that, at age 50, participants who had been bullied when they were children were more likely to be in poorer physical and psychological health and have worse cognitive functioning than people who had not been bullied.
Victims of bullying were also found to be more likely to be unemployed, earn less and have lower educational levels than people who had not been bullied. They were also less likely to be in a relationship or have good social support. People who had been bullied were more likely to report lower quality of life and life satisfaction than their peers who had not been bullied.
Louise Arseneault. She says that while programs to stop bullying are important, teachers, parents and policymakers need to focus efforts on early intervention to prevent problems caused by bullying persisting into adolescence and adulthood. Arseneault has also written in depth on another study into the long-term health effects of bullying , conducted by a team from Duke University Medical Center in Durham, NC. One mechanism that may drive this psychological and physical relationship is the inflammatory response, which occurs when the body is fighting an infection, reacting to an injury or responding to a chronic health problem.
The Duke team assessed the extent of this response in victims of bullying by measuring levels of a protein called C-reactive protein CRP. High levels of CRP occur during the inflammatory response. Previously, studies have shown that people who were abused by an adult in their childhood display elevated levels of CRP. Arseneault says this suggests that the body is reacting to toxic stress in the same way as when it is attempting to fight an infection. The researchers found that children who had been involved in bullying multiple times — whether as victims, bullies or bully-victims — had higher levels of CRP than those who were not exposed to bullying.
The findings were similar — people who had been repeatedly bullied during childhood displayed the highest levels of CRP. However, in a finding that surprised the researchers, participants who bullied others were found to now have the lowest levels of CRP out of all groups studied — including those who had not been exposed to bullying. For both the childhood and early-adulthood CRP measurements, the researchers took into account factors such as maltreatment, family dysfunction, anxiety disorders, prior CRP levels and variables associated with CRP, but the associations remained.
Arseneault comments that previous research along these lines has demonstrated that bullying can influence physiological responses to stress, including altered levels of cortisol, the hormone that is released in the body when under stress. Medical News Today spoke to lead author of the study, William E.
Copeland, assistant professor at the Center for Developmental Epidemiology at Duke, who confirmed that the elevated CRP levels suggest one mechanism responsible for translating the act of bullying into potentially long-term physical health problems:.
There is evidence that over time this experience can dysregulate biological stress response systems. Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide.
It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying—or something else—is a concern. Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, social, emotional, academic, and mental health issues. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience:. A very small number of bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the s, the shooters had a history of being bullied. Kids who bully others can also engage in violent and other risky behaviors into adulthood.
Kids who bully are more likely to:. Media reports often link bullying with suicide.
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